Author: Josie Lynn

  • The Sum of Its Parts

    The Sum of Its Parts

    jux·ta·pose

    verb \’jək-stə-,pōz\
    : to place (different things) together in order to create an interesting effect or to show how they are the same or different


    Long before we knew what juxtapose meant or had even heard of the word, my sister and I were busy “juxtaposing” things—and by things, I mean unsavory foods that we were forced to eat by a concerned and conscientious parent—like liver and mashed potatoes. Not that there’s anything essentially wrong with mashed potatoes…it was the combining them with the liver that we had the problem with. And nothing against liver—it is, after all, an essential organ, but I believe most people will agree with me that children generally find it disgusting. Parents should acknowledge this universal truth.

    My sister’s bright idea was that we pretend that the liver was chocolate and that the mashed potatoes were whipped cream. That way we could trick ourselves into thinking we were eating dessert instead of something “gross-ning” (which was a favorite non-word word when we were in elementary school).

    It worked…sort of. Eventually my mom stopped serving us liver and mashed potatoes for dinner, so we were able to eat our dinner like normal people, instead of being forced to mentally play with our food. More importantly, we were free to apply our creativity to more worthwhile endeavors.

    Still, our little thought experiment/exercise in imaginative eating taught me that it pays to combine something you like with something you like not so much, especially when the not so liked thing is something you have to do. I find this technique has gotten me though many of life’s less than pleasant, un-rose garden moments. Sort of like what Mary Poppins said about that spoonful of sugar.

    Which brings me back to my series of articles on Everything (About Job Interviews) I Learned From Jane Austen, which is all about how to make that awful medicine—the job interview—a touch more palatable.

    Here is a brief summation of our tips so far:

    Tip 1: Do master the indirect boast

    We learned how to answer “What’s your worst quality?” or “What’s your biggest weakness?” by watching Mr. Bingley. You can learn a lot by watching people. Case in point:

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1yp750t_xk?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

    …uh, back to Bingley. Remember how he “modestly” said his letters were crazy/sloppy/jumbled up because he thought faster than he wrote? Sloppy letters writing skills might sound like a weakness until you realize they are the product of a quick mind/brilliant brain. Bingo! Now that question will never stump you again.

    Tip 2: Don’t bad-mouth a former employer

    When an interviewer asks an interviewee “Who was your worst boss?” he/she’s not inviting you to relate some epic tale of dragon boss man/boss lady. It’s more like a test of your maturity level and discretion. Don’t fail…don’t be a Wickham. Bad-mouthing a former boss is just wrong.

    Tip 3: Do become a world-class networker

    This is probably the one and only time it is okay to make Mrs. Bennet your role-model. Feigning sickness and nagging your family will only annoy and alienate people—like your husband who will promptly retire to the library, the one place he know he will be safe from you because you…don’t…read—so don’t model that behavior. Imitate her savant-like ability to network.

    Tip 4: Don’t show up slovenly dressed

    Elizabeth Bennet provides the basis for this tip when she shows up at Netherfield with petticoats drenched in mud (after traipsing through the countryside). Perhaps she was trying to demonstrate her indifference to and disregard of Mr. Darcy and his 10,000 pounds per annum. As an candidate for a job, you cannot afford to make such a statement. Show up neat and tidy, pressed and shaven, i.e., dress for success.

    Tip 5: Do stay on topic when “telling about yourself”

    Everyone needs a opening, so interviewers often start by saying, “Tell me about yourself.” Lady Catherine de Bourgh shows us how to turn this conversation-starter into an opportunity to share relevant bits of data about our suitableness for the job.

    Tip 6: Do send a thank you note

    I promise, no one will find you ridiculous if you copy Mr. Collins’, er, enthusiasm about showing himself grateful by sending a post-interview thank you card/note/letter/email. However, if you approach Mr. Darcy and start talking without a formal introduction, you’re going to get royally snubbed.


    So, there we are…tips 1-6 in list format.  We have yet to hear from Mr. Darcy, Caroline, Georgiana, Jane, Lydia, Kitty, Mary (oh, dear), Mr. Bennet, or any of the Lucases. The possibilities are endless, so I’ll be revisiting this sometime in the near future. In the meantime, I’ve been working on some other projects (and desperately trying to get this blog rhythm down!).

    See you next time.

  • A Writer Writes…Always

    “A writer writes always” is something Larry, a character in Throw Momma From the Train, tells his creative writing students

    (Disclaimer: in the interest of complete transparency, now would be a good time to admit that I remember most of the lines from Throw Momma From the Train. What can I say? I like—in no particular order—1. movies about writers, 2. Billy Crystal, 3. Danny DeVito, and 4. twisted re-makes of Hitchcock films.*)

    I suppose the line resonated with me because I have always considered myself a writer, and because the line happens to be true. A writer does write…always. You can’t stop it, it just happens. Sort of like Kevin James’ dance moves in Hitch.

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50YQeugOMOw?t=2m00srel=0&w=560&h=315]

    I write because when I was a little girl, my mother took me to the library on a day that a famous children’s book writer was having a meet and greet. “Go on, talk to him,” she nudged, but being shy, I was content to watch from a comfortable distance. Still, that day I learned that writers were regular people. If I hadn’t seen him, it would have taken quite a bit of effort to convince me that books were written and didn’t just exist, like facts.

    I write because in junior high, after having consumed every book in the house, my mother showed me her black binder that looked ancient to me because she’d had it since college. “It’s a book I was going to write,” she told me, and I read it. My mother wrote stories, submitted them, and was never published.  So, I decided to continue her tradition.

    When I was seventeen something extraordinarily ordinary happened to me and sparked an idea that became a novel. I typed it up and sent it to agents and editors and anyone whose address I could find.  And it came back, again and again…and again. It didn’t happen the way I would have written it, but nothing ever does.

    Finally, an agent wrote back with the words I’d dreamed of hearing: “Your novel has the potential to be a best seller.” All it needed, she assured me, was a final edit by a professional, and she knew just the guy. You can probably guess the rest of that story—it’s been written before. But the point of my version is that I was young, hopeful, and ultimately crushed.

    After that fiasco, writing didn’t hold the same allure it once had. I felt like throwing in the towel, switching to some other career that was less gut-wrenching/disappointing. So, I stopped writing. I stopped sending out my unsolicited manuscripts. I stopped reading magazines about writing. I stopped dreaming. But I couldn’t stop the stories. Eventually, I knew something better than I knew lines from Throw Momma from the Train: A writer doesn’t write for publication. A writer isn’t a writer because she is published. A writer writes, always. End of story.

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. 3D cover 2022*After watching Throw Momma From the Train (as an impressionable young girl), I had to see the original movie…Strangers on a Train. I regret to report that this led to a life-long addiction to** Hitchcock movies. A similar fascination with Hitchcock is what inspires my protagonist Maxwell Parker to suspect her new neighbor of murder in Maxwell Parker, P.I. The lesson? You never know what will happen when you introduce Hitchcock to a preteen with an over-active imagination!

    **”a life-long addiction to” may be too strong a choice of words. Maybe “an extreme liking of” would be better. Because I can quit anytime. Really…I can…

    • What about you…why do you write?
  • Lily’s Favorite Books

    Lily’s Favorite Books

    I’m suffering from a slight case of writer’s block, so I defer to my computer literate and otherwise literate kitty, Lily, who will treat you to a list of her favorite books…drum roll, please!

    1.  Alice‘s Adventures in Wonderland – by Lewis Carroll12.1

    I’ll bet you’re thinking I like this book because of the Cheshire Cat. Wrong! It’s Alice’s relationship with Dinah that sings to me. Everyone’s so over the moon about dog being man’s best friend. Well, this book proves that cat is a girl’s best friend.

    2.  The Cat in the Hat – by Dr. Seuss

    Let me begin by stating emphatically that chaos will not ensue if you open your door to a cat! That being said, this book is an enjoyable escape.

    3.  The Fire Cat – by Esther Averill

    That Pickles is a cool cat! I kind of had a huge crush on him when I was younger.

    4.  It’s Like This, Cat – by Emily Neville

    This was a favorite of mine for the few months I was a teenager. Man, I could really dig it!

    5.  Jenny and the Cat Club (Originally Titled The Cat Club or the Life and Times of Jenny Linsky) – by Esther Averill

    Jenny really appeals to me…she’s cute and shy, but plucky. Kind of like me!

    6.  Millions of Cats – by Wanda Gag

    This is a classic. I remember this being read to me when I was a kitten.

    7. Mouse Soup – by Arnold Lobel

    Delectable, tasteful tale of a succulent clever, little mouse.

    8.  Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats – by T.S. Eliot

    Mr. Eliot revealed some of our secrets, but I forgive him. He made our species a household name. Well, it already was, but you know what I mean…

    9.  The Rescuers – by Margery Sharp

    Yummy little story about Miss Bianca and Bernard. Although I do think the characterizations of cats are unnecessarily harsh.

    10.  Stuart Little – by E.B. White

    For some reason this book makes me think of snack-time!

    11.  The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup and a Spool of Thread – by Kate DiCamillo

    Delicious…I mean, a very engrossing book. Stimulating…intellectually, that is.

    12.  The Tale of Tom Kitten – by Beatrix Potter

    There are some benighted souls out there who believe Miss Potter only wrote books about rabbits and bunnies. While those books are tasty, this one’s a real treat.

    Bookworms2

    Lily’s note: My list of favorite books is shorter than Josie’s, but I am also much shorter than Josie. And for the record, I HATE the Clifford books, so no books of that kind are on my list!

    Josie’s note: Some of the above-listed titles may reflect a bias on the part of our feline blogger. From my perspective, there is nothing wrong with the Clifford books, except for the fact that they feature a DOG…and Lily isn‘t too fond of dogs (more on that later). Also, I am sorry to say that it appears that she tends to read the books about mice the way you or I might read a cookbook. I apologize for any statements that may offend dog or rodent lovers.

    Credit for picture of Dinah:Alice finds the Red Queen/Sir John Tenniel/Wood-engraving by Dalziel/Illustration for the eleventh chapter of Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass (1865)/www.victorianweb.org

  • My Big Publishing News

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. 3D cover 2022

    It’s official. My new book, Maxwell Parker, P.I. is available…as of right now!
    For more details about the story, to find out what inspired me to write it, or to watch the book trailer, please see this previous post:

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. is also available on Amazon.com.

    For the Kindle edition, click here.

  • Computer Literate Kitty

    Computer Literate Kitty

    It’s the strangest thing. Whenever I open up my laptop and turn it on, my (cute and adorable…I secretly think she resembles Figaro from Pinocchio…but don’t tell her I said that!) cat Lily comes running over and sits on my lap. She basically then demands access to the computer.

    I’ve tried to put myself in her shoes, to get inside her little brain, and I think I’ve figured her out. I think she must need to check her email, which she must have set up one day while I stepped away from the computer to get a glass of water. Or ice tea. Or a cup of coffee.

    She probably receives regular correspondence from her feline friends, but since she doesn’t know the password to my computer, she has to wait until I’m logged in before she can use it. So she listens carefully. When she hears the computer powering on, that’s her cue.

    Incidentally, the other verbal cue Lily listens for is the sound of the can opener on a can. In her world, that can mean only one thing: TUNA. She’ll come running to the kitchen from where ever in the house she happens to be…usually that’s sleeping on a chair in the living room (er, excuse me, sleeping on her chair in the living room).  Never mind that most of the time the can being opened is not tuna because in my house tuna-eating is not a thing we do with regular frequency. That doesn’t phase Lily one bit. The fact is, some of the time it is tuna, and  Lily is willing to play those odds.

    The other day when I turned my laptop on and opened my browser, Lily ran over to the keyboard and begin typing:

    gbh14

    I hit enter, and this is the screen that opened:

    Lilly's search

    I think she’s desperately trying to express herself! I’ve decided to allow Lily to sit from time to time as my guest blogger. Maybe this frustrated artist will finally have her say! Her posts will appear under the category “Kitty Literature.”

    I certainly hope you’re ready to hear what’s on her mind.

  • You Can Never Be Too Thankful…Just Ask Mr. Collins

    You Can Never Be Too Thankful…Just Ask Mr. Collins

    Tip # 6: Send a Thank You Note

    So, hopefully, with the help of our previous 5 tips, your interview was a blazing success. All that remains is waiting for the inevitable call…the job offer, right?  Wrong!

    Don’t let all of your research, hard work, and nervous energy come to naught. Don’t forget to send the requisite thank you note/thank you letter/thank you email.

    But let’s say you aren’t feeling particularly thankful at this stage in the game. It doesn’t matter. You still need to go through the motions, and who better to model the correct attitude than our very own poster child for gratitude, Mr. Collins.

    Here is a snippet from chapter 29 of Pride and Prejudice in which we are treated to one of many displays of appreciation that he bestows upon his benefactress:

    When Lady Catherine and her daughter had played as long as they chose,the tables were broken up, the carriage was offered to Mrs. Collins, gratefully accepted and immediately ordered. The party then gathered round the fire to hear Lady Catherine determine what weather they were to have on the morrow. From these instructions they were summoned by the arrival of the coach; and with many speeches of thankfulness on Mr.Collins’s side and as many bows on Sir William’s they departed. As soon as they had driven from the door, Elizabeth was called on by her cousin to give her opinion of all that she had seen at Rosings, which, for Charlotte’s sake, she made more favourable than it really was. But her commendation, though costing her some trouble, could by no means satisfy Mr. Collins, and he was very soon obliged to take her ladyship’s praise into his own hands.

    Need I say more? I think Mr. Collins in his many speeches probably said more than enough.

    Bottom line: send a note on a plain, business-like thank you card, or a brief, business-like email, addressed it to the person who conducted the interview, thanking him or her for his or her time, saying it was a pleasure to meet him or her, and expressing your hope that the next time you meet it will be as colleagues (or something more or less to that effect).

    Well, young grasshopper, my work here is done. You are now ready and able to go out and make your way in the world.

    In a future post, I will be summing up our Jane Austen gleanings…and who knows, maybe I will be struck by a brain wave and have some more tips to add to our list at a future date. In the meantime, we’ll be switching gears and introducing someone you’re going to get to know pretty well.

    Thanks for indulging my fancy!

  • Tell Me About Yourself, Lady Catherine

    Tell Me About Yourself, Lady Catherine

    Tip 5: Stay On-Topic

    My mother used to say, “If you can’t think of something nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all,” so Lady Catherine de Bourgh poses a particular challenge for me. On the surface, there appears to be little or nothing that can be said about her without violating my mother’s code of conduct. It is almost impossible to think of something nice about someone my father would have said suffers from an extreme case of “I” trouble and an acute bout of egomania.

    However, in the interest of continuing on my Everything…Jane Austen theme, I thought long and hard about something nice to say about Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

    It went a little something like this:

    Josie: (to self) Think…think…THINK!!!

    …crickets chirping in the background…

    But, seriously, in the end, it really wasn’t impossible or even that difficult. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJGJMi-sUS8?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

    It’s All About You

    I quickly realized that a person like her ladyship–a person who never seemed to tire of talking about herself–might help us with the ubiquitous and potentially confusing interview question…or statement…okay… invitation to “Tell me about yourself.”

    Lady Catherine de Bourgh breathed life into the attitude “it’s all about me.” She lived it. She believed it. And while, this is ordinarily an annoying trait, the way she does it provides a clue on how we can talk about ourselves in a way that will be relevant to the topic on hand.

    For example, when your potential employer invites you to tell him/her about yourself, you don’t want to over-share by talking about too many irrelevant personal things. However, you do want to mention a few well-chosen, noncontroversial interests, hobbies, or pursuits. And while you don’t want to over-sell your job qualifications yet (there will be other opportunities later in the interview to highlight those in full detail), you do want to tailor your comments to reflect why you are the best fit for the job.

    This question would have posed no threat to Lady C, who was so aware of her pertinent strengths that she was able to imaginatively project them into a conversation into which she had no business trying to insert herself. “Because,” she said in so many words, “I am so awesome, I’d even be awesome at things I don’t even know how to do!!!”

    Notice how it played out in the book:

    “What is that you are saying, Fitzwilliam? What is it you are talking of? What are you telling Miss Bennet? Let me hear what it is.”

    “We are speaking of music, madam,” said he, when no longer able to avoid a reply.

    “Of music! Then pray speak aloud. It is of all subjects my delight. I must have my share in the conversation if you are speaking of music. There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment of music than myself, or a better natural taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient. And so would Anne, if her health had allowed her to apply. I am confident that she would have performed delightfully. How does Georgiana get on, Darcy?”

    A Word of Caution

    In all seriousness, however, let’s face it, no one would take Lady Catherine’s self-proclamation seriously. So don’t follow her example to the letter. Instead, my suggestion is to let her phenomenally self-confident spirit buoy you and prepare you to handle one of those moments in the interview where your mind might potentially draw a big fat blank.

    We’re trying to avoid this scene:

    Potential employer: So, tell me about yourself?

    You: Uh…um…I…

    …crickets chirping in the background…

    So, talk about yourself, but for heaven’s sake, stay on-topic!

    Next: A final lesson…from another unlikely source…the ever-thankful Mr. Collins. Yes, he’s good for something besides a laugh.

  • Dress For Success, Elizabeth

    Dress For Success, Elizabeth

    Tip 4: Don’t Show Up Slovenly Dressed

    Elizabeth Bennet may have scored points with Mr. Darcy when she turned up in Mr. Bingley’s breakfast-parlour in mud-drenched petticoats, but not everyone was impressed with her entrance. Perhaps Mr. Darcy was too busy staring at her “fine eyes” to notice her sloppy appearance, but übercritical Caroline Bingley and her equally smug sister, Louisa Hurst, made the following snide comments:

    … Miss Bingley began abusing her as soon as she was out of the room. Her manners were pronounced to be very bad indeed, a mixture of pride and impertinence; she had no conversation, no style, no beauty. Mrs. Hurst thought the same, and added:

    “She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild.”

    “She did, indeed, Louisa. I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all! Why must she be scampering about the country, because her sister had a cold? Her hair, so untidy, so blowsy!”

    “Yes, and her petticoat; I hope you saw her petticoat, six inches deep in mud, I am absolutely certain; and the gown which had been let down to hide it not doing its office.”

    “Your picture may be very exact, Louisa,” said Bingley; “but this was all lost upon me. I thought Miss Elizabeth Bennet looked remarkably well when she came into the room this morning. Her dirty petticoat quite escaped my notice.”

    You observed it, Mr. Darcy, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley; “and I am inclined to think that you would not wish to see your sister make such an exhibition.”

    “Certainly not.”

    “To walk three miles, or four miles, or five miles, or whatever it is, above her ankles in dirt, and alone, quite alone! What could she mean by it? It seems to me to show an abominable sort of conceited independence, a most country-town indifference to decorum.”

    “It shows an affection for her sister that is very pleasing,” said Bingley.

    “I am afraid, Mr. Darcy,” observed Miss Bingley in a half whisper, “that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eyes.”

    “Not at all,” he replied; “they were brightened by the exercise.”

    No Excuse for Bad Dressing

    Elizabeth had a good reason for not looking exactly freshly pressed and starched, however Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst weren’t buying it. Similarly, you won’t win points with your prospective employer if you look like you just rolled out of bed (or traipsed across the muddy countryside). Your future boss is liable to think: “If this is how he/she dresses for an interview, I don’t even want to know how he/she will dress for work!”

    Dress the Part to Get the Part

    Bottom line: don’t shoot yourself in the foot before the interview even starts. Strive to make a good first impression on your potential employer by dressing the part. And for those of you who are saying, I don’t want to be judged by something as shallow as my outward appearance, I have some news for you: that’s what a job interview is all about! Assume the person interviewing you is going to take the unforgiving Caroline/Louisa approach rather than the distracted/oblivious Fitzwilliam/Charles approach. Dress for success. Once you get the job, you can dress however you like (within reasonable limits).

    Next up: A Lady reveals how to handle the “So, tell me about yourself” question.

  • Become a World-Class Networker (Like Mrs. Bennet)

    Become a World-Class Networker (Like Mrs. Bennet)

    Tip 3: Do Network

    The hopelessly frivolous Mrs. Bennet may have been a constant source of chagrin to the sensible Jane and Elizabeth, but she was amazingly right on point when it came to the importance of networking. In last week’s post, I shared a “don’t” from George Wickham. Today, I’ll be sharing a “do” from Mrs. Bennet.

    I was as surprised as you are to discover that Mrs. Bennet was actually a good example of anything. But note the approach she takes toward networking. Her thoughts on the matter are summed up below:

    “It was, moreover, such a promising thing for her younger daughters, as Jane’s marrying so greatly must throw them in the way of other rich men…”

    What She Got Right

    There it is…the pearl of wisdom: make use of connections to achieve a goal.  Alas, this is pretty much where Mrs. Bennet’s common sense, foresight, and usefulness came skidding to a stop. On the one hand, she rightly realized that Jane’s marrying Mr. Bingley would provide opportunities for her remaining single daughters to interact with/get to know/fall in love with/and marry other single gentlemen of property. You can’t blame a woman for trying to give her girls a leg up in the world.

    What She Got Oh So Wrong

    On the other hand, however, you can blame her for imprudently expressing these sentiments in the earshot of the already paranoid/prejudiced Mr. Darcy. Let’s face it, that was a huge misstep that came back to bite both Jane and Elizabeth. So, while her intention may have been well-meaning, her implementation betrayed a serious lack of judgment.

    Making Networking Work

    In a similar vein, networking is essential to your job search. Ask everyone you know if they are aware of any job openings. Let them know you are looking for work. Often times, the people we are in contact with can alert us to opportunities, thus providing useful leads. We cannot afford to be too proud to ask for help. Remember, it’s not always what you know; sometimes it’s who you know. Just go about it in a slightly more judicious manner than Mrs. Bennet. Use tact and discernment, and no one will look askance at you for trying to make the most of every connection you have, and it very well may help you find that sought-after job.

    Next time we’ll consider a tip from everyone’s favorite leading lady.

  • Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Former Boss, Wickham

    Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Former Boss, Wickham

    Tip 2: Don’t Be a Wickham

    Pride and Prejudice’s infamous cad, George Wickham, might seem to be the last person qualified to help one get a job since he spent the entire novel trying to obtain a living by scheming to compromise the virtue of a well-connected young girl and then force her friends and family to pay him to marry her. A job was not something he found exactly palatable.

    Yet, when I came across the next job interview tip: “Don’t bad-mouth a former employer,” I immediately thought of Wickham.

    Bad Forum…and Bad Form

    Let’s face it, interview for a job, and you’re more than likely going to face the question, what was it like working for your former employer/manager/boss? Or perhaps it will be worded as: what did you like or dislike about your previous job? Or they may ask you to describe your best boss and your worst boss. The idea is always the same. The interviewer is seemingly providing you an opportunity to vent, air your dirty laundry, or tell on that mean, old jerk of a boss you once had. Don’t fall for it. This is not the forum. This is not a karmic pay-back session. You’re not writing a tell-all book. You’re interviewing to work for this person. His or her opinion of you is going to matter.

    Even though Wickham is not asked any variation of the worst boss question, he volunteers an answer and, in doing so, provides us with an object lesson on what not to do.

    Wickham’s Worst Boss Ever

    In chapter sixteen of Pride and Prejudice, George Wickham famously bad-mouths former employer, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, hoping it will buy him something and it does, for a time. The slighted Elizabeth is all-too eager to hear her arch nemesis (the non-dancing, pride-wounding Mr. Darcy) taken down off his self-mounted high horse, so she is inclined and predisposed to believe Wickham’s tale of dirty-dealings on the part of Mr. Darcy.

    However, it is worth noting that before dishing, Wickham takes all of the necessary precautions to make sure his story will be well-received. First, he feels Elizabeth out by asking:

    “…Are you much acquainted with Mr. Darcy?”

    Elizabeth candidly (if not unwisely) tells him that she finds Mr. Darcy disagreeable and that everyone in the whole neighborhood dislikes him and is disgusted with him. Having established and confirmed Elizabeth’s hatred of Darcy, Wickham feels at liberty (in the interest of open and honest communication, wink, wink) to launch into a full disclosure of past wrongs.

    On a job interview, the interviewee may be fooled into believing that his recounting the wrongs committed by a former bad boss will likewise be well-received. After all, didn’t the interviewer invite you to share? So he/she must really care about your feelings. As I said earlier, do not fall for this.

    What Are You Griping About?

    Wickham’s description of Mr. Darcy as an employer (of sorts) proceeds as follows:

    “His behaviour to myself has been scandalous; but I verily believe I could forgive him anything and everything, rather than his disappointing the hopes and disgracing the memory of his father.”

    …and as if that wasn’t enough, he continues…

    “I have been a disappointed man, and my spirits will not bear solitude. I must have employment and society. A military life is not what I was intended for, but circumstances have now made it eligible. The church ought to have been my profession—I was brought up for the church, and I should at this time have been in possession of a most valuable living, had it pleased the gentleman we were speaking of just now.”

    “Indeed!”

    “Yes—the late Mr. Darcy bequeathed me the next presentation of the best living in his gift. He was my godfather, and excessively attached to me. I cannot do justice to his kindness. He meant to provide for me amply, and thought he had done it; but when the living fell, it was given elsewhere.”

    “Good heavens!” cried Elizabeth; “but how could that be? How could his will be disregarded? Why did you not seek legal redress?”

    “There was just such an informality in the terms of the bequest as to give me no hope from law. A man of honour could not have doubted the intention, but Mr. Darcy chose to doubt it—or to treat it as a merely conditional recommendation, and to assert that I had forfeited all claim to it by extravagance, imprudence—in short anything or nothing. Certain it is, that the living became vacant two years ago, exactly as I was of an age to hold it, and that it was given to another man; and no less certain is it, that I cannot accuse myself of having really done anything to deserve to lose it. I have a warm, unguarded temper, and I may have spoken my opinion of him, and to him, too freely. I can recall nothing worse. But the fact is, that we are very different sort of men, and that he hates me.”

    “This is quite shocking! He deserves to be publicly disgraced.”

    “Some time or other he will be—but it shall not be by me. Till I can forget his father, I can never defy or expose him.”

    Elizabeth honoured him for such feelings, and thought him handsomer than ever as he expressed them.

    “But what,” said she, after a pause, “can have been his motive? What can have induced him to behave so cruelly?”

    “A thorough, determined dislike of me—a dislike which I cannot but attribute in some measure to jealousy. Had the late Mr. Darcy liked me less, his son might have borne with me better; but his father’s uncommon attachment to me irritated him, I believe, very early in life. He had not a temper to bear the sort of competition in which we stood—the sort of preference which was often given me.”

    Wow! Poor Wickham. Just in case you missed it, Mr. Darcy scandalously, dishonorably, hatefully, jealously, and vindictively denied his father’s dying wish, thereby cheating a decent, hard-working, honest man out of his rightful living. Tsk, tsk.

    Initially, Wickham’s story had its intended effect. But on second blush, after Elizabeth calmed down and could see things clearly (and after receiving a certain letter from a certain gentleman), she realized that Wickham had misrepresented the facts in his favor and Wickham is exposed as a slimy, duplicitous con artist.

    The same thing will happen to you on a job interview if you bad-mouth a former employer. Well, maybe you won’t be exposed as a con artist (it’s probably not that serious), but you certainly won’t win any brownie points. The only thing you’ll accomplish is to make yourself look bad…and immature…and like a whining, hard-to-please, maladjusted, indiscreet complainer. Which means you probably just talked yourself out of a job.

    Err on the Side of Diplomacy

    Wickham would have been better off if he’d heeded the adage, ‘if you can’t think of something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ Of course on an interview, questions can’t exactly be met with silence, but you can and should provide a neutral answer.

    Let’s give Wickham a mulligan, shall we?

    Imagine Elizabeth and Wickham at Aunt Phillip’s house.

    Elizabeth: So, Mr. Wickham,  I hear you’re the son of Mr. Darcy’s steward? What was it like working for that family?

    Wickham: I learned a lot from that experience.  Mr. Darcy’s father was wonderful person. He, of course, died and left the estate to his son, Fitzwilliam.  He and I may not have always seen eye to eye but, I must say, working for him taught me a lot about what types of management styles I work with the best.

    Elizabeth: (to herself) Drat!  I was hoping to get the dirt on that jerk Darcy, but this tactful guy isn’t giving me anything!

    Good answer, George.

    Next time, we’ll borrow a page from another improbable source and see what we can learn from Mrs. Bennet.