Tag: Mr. Collins

  • The Sum of Its Parts

    The Sum of Its Parts

    jux·ta·pose

    verb \’jək-stə-,pōz\
    : to place (different things) together in order to create an interesting effect or to show how they are the same or different


    Long before we knew what juxtapose meant or had even heard of the word, my sister and I were busy “juxtaposing” things—and by things, I mean unsavory foods that we were forced to eat by a concerned and conscientious parent—like liver and mashed potatoes. Not that there’s anything essentially wrong with mashed potatoes…it was the combining them with the liver that we had the problem with. And nothing against liver—it is, after all, an essential organ, but I believe most people will agree with me that children generally find it disgusting. Parents should acknowledge this universal truth.

    My sister’s bright idea was that we pretend that the liver was chocolate and that the mashed potatoes were whipped cream. That way we could trick ourselves into thinking we were eating dessert instead of something “gross-ning” (which was a favorite non-word word when we were in elementary school).

    It worked…sort of. Eventually my mom stopped serving us liver and mashed potatoes for dinner, so we were able to eat our dinner like normal people, instead of being forced to mentally play with our food. More importantly, we were free to apply our creativity to more worthwhile endeavors.

    Still, our little thought experiment/exercise in imaginative eating taught me that it pays to combine something you like with something you like not so much, especially when the not so liked thing is something you have to do. I find this technique has gotten me though many of life’s less than pleasant, un-rose garden moments. Sort of like what Mary Poppins said about that spoonful of sugar.

    Which brings me back to my series of articles on Everything (About Job Interviews) I Learned From Jane Austen, which is all about how to make that awful medicine—the job interview—a touch more palatable.

    Here is a brief summation of our tips so far:

    Tip 1: Do master the indirect boast

    We learned how to answer “What’s your worst quality?” or “What’s your biggest weakness?” by watching Mr. Bingley. You can learn a lot by watching people. Case in point:

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1yp750t_xk?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

    …uh, back to Bingley. Remember how he “modestly” said his letters were crazy/sloppy/jumbled up because he thought faster than he wrote? Sloppy letters writing skills might sound like a weakness until you realize they are the product of a quick mind/brilliant brain. Bingo! Now that question will never stump you again.

    Tip 2: Don’t bad-mouth a former employer

    When an interviewer asks an interviewee “Who was your worst boss?” he/she’s not inviting you to relate some epic tale of dragon boss man/boss lady. It’s more like a test of your maturity level and discretion. Don’t fail…don’t be a Wickham. Bad-mouthing a former boss is just wrong.

    Tip 3: Do become a world-class networker

    This is probably the one and only time it is okay to make Mrs. Bennet your role-model. Feigning sickness and nagging your family will only annoy and alienate people—like your husband who will promptly retire to the library, the one place he know he will be safe from you because you…don’t…read—so don’t model that behavior. Imitate her savant-like ability to network.

    Tip 4: Don’t show up slovenly dressed

    Elizabeth Bennet provides the basis for this tip when she shows up at Netherfield with petticoats drenched in mud (after traipsing through the countryside). Perhaps she was trying to demonstrate her indifference to and disregard of Mr. Darcy and his 10,000 pounds per annum. As an candidate for a job, you cannot afford to make such a statement. Show up neat and tidy, pressed and shaven, i.e., dress for success.

    Tip 5: Do stay on topic when “telling about yourself”

    Everyone needs a opening, so interviewers often start by saying, “Tell me about yourself.” Lady Catherine de Bourgh shows us how to turn this conversation-starter into an opportunity to share relevant bits of data about our suitableness for the job.

    Tip 6: Do send a thank you note

    I promise, no one will find you ridiculous if you copy Mr. Collins’, er, enthusiasm about showing himself grateful by sending a post-interview thank you card/note/letter/email. However, if you approach Mr. Darcy and start talking without a formal introduction, you’re going to get royally snubbed.


    So, there we are…tips 1-6 in list format.  We have yet to hear from Mr. Darcy, Caroline, Georgiana, Jane, Lydia, Kitty, Mary (oh, dear), Mr. Bennet, or any of the Lucases. The possibilities are endless, so I’ll be revisiting this sometime in the near future. In the meantime, I’ve been working on some other projects (and desperately trying to get this blog rhythm down!).

    See you next time.

  • You Can Never Be Too Thankful…Just Ask Mr. Collins

    You Can Never Be Too Thankful…Just Ask Mr. Collins

    Tip # 6: Send a Thank You Note

    So, hopefully, with the help of our previous 5 tips, your interview was a blazing success. All that remains is waiting for the inevitable call…the job offer, right?  Wrong!

    Don’t let all of your research, hard work, and nervous energy come to naught. Don’t forget to send the requisite thank you note/thank you letter/thank you email.

    But let’s say you aren’t feeling particularly thankful at this stage in the game. It doesn’t matter. You still need to go through the motions, and who better to model the correct attitude than our very own poster child for gratitude, Mr. Collins.

    Here is a snippet from chapter 29 of Pride and Prejudice in which we are treated to one of many displays of appreciation that he bestows upon his benefactress:

    When Lady Catherine and her daughter had played as long as they chose,the tables were broken up, the carriage was offered to Mrs. Collins, gratefully accepted and immediately ordered. The party then gathered round the fire to hear Lady Catherine determine what weather they were to have on the morrow. From these instructions they were summoned by the arrival of the coach; and with many speeches of thankfulness on Mr.Collins’s side and as many bows on Sir William’s they departed. As soon as they had driven from the door, Elizabeth was called on by her cousin to give her opinion of all that she had seen at Rosings, which, for Charlotte’s sake, she made more favourable than it really was. But her commendation, though costing her some trouble, could by no means satisfy Mr. Collins, and he was very soon obliged to take her ladyship’s praise into his own hands.

    Need I say more? I think Mr. Collins in his many speeches probably said more than enough.

    Bottom line: send a note on a plain, business-like thank you card, or a brief, business-like email, addressed it to the person who conducted the interview, thanking him or her for his or her time, saying it was a pleasure to meet him or her, and expressing your hope that the next time you meet it will be as colleagues (or something more or less to that effect).

    Well, young grasshopper, my work here is done. You are now ready and able to go out and make your way in the world.

    In a future post, I will be summing up our Jane Austen gleanings…and who knows, maybe I will be struck by a brain wave and have some more tips to add to our list at a future date. In the meantime, we’ll be switching gears and introducing someone you’re going to get to know pretty well.

    Thanks for indulging my fancy!