Josie Lynn Books: Imagine the Possibilities

Category: Everything’s Coming Up Josie

  • Pigeonholed

    My Pandemic Project

    I have a question for you. How did you spend your time during the pandemic?

    If you’re like me, I’m sure you had lots of big plans that didn’t exactly come to fruition. I won’t take you down my list of failed endeavors (…the hiking that didn’t happen, the sourdough bread that didn’t rise…) but I did manage to do a whole lot of binge-watching (does watching Endeavour count as a successful endeavor?) and a lot of bird-watching.

    If you’re picturing me crouching in a park with a pair of binoculars, a field guide, and khakis, let me stop you right there. I did some of my best bird-watching from the driver’s seat of my car. Since so many people (at least at the start of the pandemic) were working from home, traffic on my usually insane commute was practically nonexistent, so I had a lot more time to reflect on different things as I drove to work. The things that tended to catch my eye more than anything else were the city’s pigeons.

    More than just catch my eye, though, they really captured my imagination. I thought back to a friend of mine who had moved to California from New York and used to contemptuously call them “rats with wings.” I always thought that was unfair and a little harsh. The more I watched them and thought about them, the more an idea began to reveal itself to me. Was it a Great Idea? You’ll have to ask Walter Pigeon. What I know for sure is that it became a book.

    Here’s how I describe it: Walter Pigeon is concerned about the bad rap he and his fellow pigeons have received and is determined to do something about it. A humorous and heartfelt satire about thinking outside the box.

    Here’s what other people are saying about it…

    “Clever and humorously imaginative, with embedded words of wisdom.”—Kirkus Reviews

    You can read the full review here.

    And if you care to check it out, it’s available on Amazon.

    As always, thanks for stopping by. I really do appreciate it.

  • Everything’s coming up roses!

    Everything’s coming up roses!

    I recently heard someone (on TV) use the expression, “In the weeds,” which was an idiom I had never heard before. Based on the context, I thought I had a pretty good idea what was meant, but I decided to look it up. It got me thinking about a post I wrote ages ago about horse idioms…so I tried to compile a list of idioms that involve plants (weeds, flowers, grass, and trees)…Here’s what blossomed:

    1. In the weeds – to be so busy/behind schedule/overwhelmed that it would be impossible to catch up.
    2. Down the garden path – to mislead someone.
    3. Nip in the bud – to stop something before it has a chance to get started.
    4. Pushing up daisies – a euphemism for dead (and buried).
    5. Stop and smell the roses – take time to enjoy the simple, beautiful things.
    6. The grass is always greener in someone else’s backyard – the tendency to romanticize what we do not have.
    7. Babe in the woods – a person who is out of his/her depth.
    8. Out of the woods – to survive a dangerous or difficult situation.
    9. Cream of the crop – the best part of a group.
    10. Out on a limb – to be in a dangerous or weak position without any support.
    11. Branch out – to try something new.
    12. Beat around the bush – the opposite of getting to the point.
    13. Can’t see the forest for the trees – to be so bogged down by details, you miss the big picture.
    14. Come out smelling like a rose – to come out of a potentially bad situation unscathed (kind of like, “the proof of the pudding is in the eating”). It reminds me of one of my favorite phrases/song titles, “Everything’s coming up roses,” which I’ve adapted to “Everything’s coming up Josie!”
    15. Money doesn’t grow on trees – a reminder that money is hard to come by and once spent, it will not regenerate itself.
    16. Barking up the wrong tree – to be wrong about someone or something.
    17. Fresh as a daisy – fresh, energetic. Warning: do not use this idiom or your writing will be anything but…
    18. Gilding the lily – to decorate something that is already decorative.
    19. Make hay while the sun shines – to take advantage of favorable conditions to get a job done (in other words, “there’s no time like the present”).
    20. Make like a tree and get out of here (I mean, make like a tree and leave) – okay, so this one isn’t strictly an idiom…it’s more like a bad pun…courtesy of Biff from Back to the Future, and I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

    Can you add any fun, colorful, flora expressions to the list? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

  • Use (or Choose) Your Words (Wisely)

    Use (or Choose) Your Words (Wisely)

    “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me.”

    I’ll admit it. I am (on occasion) a public eavesdropper, but only because people say the most interesting things in public. For instance, I was in the parking lot of an organic market not too long ago and a family (consisting of a mother, a father, and a pre-teen son) was getting in the car next to mine. The son was not in a happy mood.

    “Why are you mad with Daddy?” the mother asked, and then instructed him, “Use your words.”

    The son proceeded to not use words, his or otherwise, but to sulk as he climbed into the backseat of the crossover with folded arms.

    I laughed inwardly, mainly because I was surprised to hear that people really used words like “use your words.”

    Another time, I was innocently eating breakfast at a hotel near a popular amusement park, when a family of four was seated at the table next to mine. The two young boys were having a dispute, and to settle it, the father parroted the adage about sticks and stones breaking bones, but words never hurting you, to which the older son replied, “But they do hurt. They always hurt.”

    Again I chuckled, this time because the little dude was merely confirming the belief I’ve always held: words can be dangerous things.

    People can make cutting remarks that go on to have long and productive lives, remarks that go so far as to find a home inside your brain, and turn up again and again like that proverbial bad penny. If someone struck you, they might leave a sore spot or a bruise, but those things heal, those things fade with time. You might at some later date wish to revisit your injury, only to discover it has completely disappeared.

    But words are different; words cut deep.

    That’s why it’s a good idea to be like Horton and only say what you mean and mean what you say. Because once the words are out, you won’t be able take them back. You can’t. You can say you’re sorry. You can say you didn’t mean it. But if those are just lame, ineffectual words compared to the mean, harmful, pointed words you’re trying to take back.

    Those words that can’t be “un-heard.”

    It reminds me of the fable about gossip, often used to illustrate how once words are spoken, they become feathers in the wind; difficult to control, impossible to collect once unleashed.

    Like that vintage shampoo commercial (and they told two friends, and so on, and so on) suggests, words have a way of getting out at an exponential rate, which is good for advertising your new restaurant, but not so good if we’re talking about your embarrassing, dirty laundry.

    Funnily enough, I have written a book that addresses this very topic. Imagine that! It’s called I’m the Greatest Star, and tells the story of a sixth-grader named Star who, among other things, finds herself face-to-face with the verbally-abusive class bully.I'm the Greatest Star 3D cover 2022

    I’m the Greatest Star is published by Stepping Stones for Kids, an Imprint of FootePrint Press and will be available for purchase next month, April 2018, as a paperback or eBook. Visit my website josielynnbooks.com for more details.

  • A Caterpillar’s Life

    A Caterpillar’s Life

    While watching Frozen Planet, I was introduced to a creature known as the woolly bear caterpillar. Woolly bear caterpillars have become my new favorite insect, replacing my former childhood favorite, the lady bug. Mind you, I still think lady bugs are cute, but the woolly bear caterpillar has a lot going for it starting with (but not limited to) an extremely cute name. Eventually, it turns into a quite spectacular moth, which is perhaps not as overtly glamorous as a butterfly, but few things in nature are. Butterflies are in a class unto themselves. People chase them. They collect them. They make up cool philosophical sayings about them, such as this affirmation commonly found on motivational posters and wall art:butterfly quote

    I have many fond memories of chasing ever elusive butterflies the way people tend to chase dreams or happiness. My memories of moths are of finding them burned to a crisp inside an outdoor light fixture and pitying their fatal attraction so, needless to say, I never imagined that the life cycle of a moth could be in any way motivational. Then I met the woolly bear caterpillar.

    Life Lessons From the Woolly Bear Caterpillar

    Woolly bear caterpillar
    Closeup of woolly bear caterpillar

    The woolly bear caterpillar starts life as a rather cute, furry little creature with a voracious appetite for leaves (thankfully, not wool coats). During the spring and summer months it eats as much and as fast as it can, in a valiant attempt to store up enough reserves to fulfill his destiny of becoming a moth. Metamorphosis apparently takes a lot of energy. Alas, the woolly bear caterpillar is not successful on his first attempt. When fall comes, he slows down and, with the onset of winter, comes to a complete stop—his heart stops, his breathing stops, and his body freezes. The caterpillar produces a kind of antifreeze that prevents his body from crystallizing as it freezes, otherwise he would freeze to death.

    Spring comes. The caterpillar thaws and begins eating again. But once again, he doesn’t have enough time to gather the required reserves before the freeze sets in, so he waits out the winter in a frozen state. This happens again and again…and again…

    Finally, one spring when the caterpillar is fourteen years old—the last spring of his life—he reaches his goal. After fourteen years of preparation, he has finally eaten enough and is ready to spin his cocoon. After a fashion, he emerges from the cocoon as a beautiful moth, finds a mate and lives happily ever after (as happily ever after as is possible for a moth, anyway). I watched the woolly bear caterpillar’s inspiring story and found myself routing for the little guy. (“Come on, Little Caterpillar. Eat. Eat faster. Winter’s coming. You can do it. Don’t give up.”)

    It made for good television: there was tension/drama, there was a villain, and our hero triumphed against the odds. Plus, there were life lessons, especially for aspiring writers.  The woolly bear caterpillar did several things that made him successful, and following his example can help us reach our writing goals.

    The woolly bear caterpillar:
    1. Continued to work at his craft.
    2. Took advantage of favorable seasons and did what he could when he could.
    3. Was not discouraged by minor setbacks that were beyond his control.
    4. Didn’t allow a period of inactivity to result in death.
    5. Was in a position to take advantage of the right conditions when they prevailed and, as a result, he thrived.

    As writers, we must have determination and a good work ethic. Sometimes we can create opportunities, but we often have to wait for the right conditions. The waiting period—the time between working toward a goal and realizing that goal—might feel like death. The trick is to develop a figurative elixir (coping mechanisms) that will protect us from succumbing to the deep freeze of discouragement. When preparation and favorable conditions meet, the results will be magic.

    In the end, diligence and persistence will pay off—just ask the woolly bear caterpillar. He prepared and waited fourteen years for his shining moment. The lesson? Never give up.

  • Declaration of Independence

    Or Why I Became an Indie Publisher

    Once upon a time, I used to think that the only pathway to becoming a “real author” was to secure an agent who would sell my book to a “real publisher.” This would inevitably result in a call from said agent reporting the sell, which would reduce me to a sobbing mess of happy, relieved, celebratory tears. That phone call never came, because finding an agent (for me, anyway) proved to be the enormous, impossible, clichéd catch-22 that everyone says it is. I once read a quote that likened the TV business to ‘a cruel, shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where good men die like dogs.’* The quote resonated with me; I instantly pictured my books left to die along a long plastic hallway of shattered hopes and dreams. Was I bitter? Was I hopeless? Perhaps, just a tad, but like I said in an earlier post, writing is something you can’t stop. It was just a matter of figuring out a new, different, and better approach to authorship. Or, to quote from Jurassic Park, “Life will find a way.” So I watched and I waited. Then, finally one day, seemingly out of nowhere, while I was busy poring over one of those books with lists of agents and publishers (who are currently not open to submissions or who do not accept unsolicited manuscripts or whose name and contact info is followed by any of those unfriendly, unwelcoming, disheartening phrases), there was a publishing revolution—a bloodless revolution with no visible carnage—but a revolution nonetheless—that left writers empowered to take matters into their own capable hands and stop waiting for someone on the other end of the proverbial transom to decide their fate. The time had come to remove the carcasses of dead books, dead hopes, and dead dreams from those hallowed trenches and hallways. Writers could set their books free. Writers could set themselves free. It reminds me of a commercial I once saw… [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZDUbKNiMsU?rel=0&w=420&h=315] …Plus, indie publishers have to wear lots of hats and I’m a big fan of hats. Do you have a similar story that you would be willing to share?

    *The quote, in its entirety is: “The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.”[…]

  • A Writer Writes…Always

    “A writer writes always” is something Larry, a character in Throw Momma From the Train, tells his creative writing students. 

    (Disclaimer: in the interest of complete transparency, now would be a good time to admit that I remember most of the lines from Throw Momma From the Train. What can I say? I like—in no particular order—1. movies about writers, 2. Billy Crystal, 3. Danny DeVito, and 4. twisted re-makes of Hitchcock films.*)

    I suppose the line resonated with me because I have always considered myself a writer, and because the line happens to be true. A writer does write…always. You can’t stop it, it just happens. Sort of like Kevin James’ dance moves in Hitch.

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50YQeugOMOw?t=2m00srel=0&w=560&h=315]

    I write because when I was a little girl, my mother took me to the library on a day that a famous children’s book writer was having a meet and greet. “Go on, talk to him,” she nudged, but being shy, I was content to watch from a comfortable distance. Still, that day I learned that writers were regular people. If I hadn’t seen him, it would have taken quite a bit of effort to convince me that books were written and didn’t just exist, like facts.

    I write because in junior high, after having consumed every book in the house, my mother showed me her black binder that looked ancient to me because she’d had it since college. “It’s a book I was going to write,” she told me, and I read it. My mother wrote stories, submitted them, and was never published.  So, I decided to continue her tradition.

    When I was seventeen something extraordinarily ordinary happened to me and sparked an idea that became a novel. I typed it up and sent it to agents and editors and anyone whose address I could find.  And it came back, again and again…and again. It didn’t happen the way I would have written it, but nothing ever does.

    Finally, an agent wrote back with the words I’d dreamed of hearing: “Your novel has the potential to be a best seller.” All it needed, she assured me, was a final edit by a professional, and she knew just the guy. You can probably guess the rest of that story—it’s been written before. But the point of my version is that I was young, hopeful, and ultimately crushed.

    After that fiasco, writing didn’t hold the same allure it once had. I felt like throwing in the towel, switching to some other career that was less gut-wrenching/disappointing. So, I stopped writing. I stopped sending out my unsolicited manuscripts. I stopped reading magazines about writing. I stopped dreaming. But I couldn’t stop the stories. Eventually, I knew something better than I knew lines from Throw Momma from the Train: A writer doesn’t write for publication. A writer isn’t a writer because she is published. A writer writes, always. End of story.

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. 3D cover 2022*After watching Throw Momma From the Train (as an impressionable young girl), I had to see the original movie…Strangers on a Train. I regret to report that this led to a life-long addiction to** Hitchcock movies. A similar fascination with Hitchcock is what inspires my protagonist Maxwell Parker to suspect her new neighbor of murder in Maxwell Parker, P.I. The lesson? You never know what will happen when you introduce Hitchcock to a preteen with an over-active imagination!

    **”a life-long addiction to” may be too strong a choice of words. Maybe “an extreme liking of” would be better. Because I can quit anytime. Really…I can…

    • What about you…why do you write?
  • Introducing Maxwell Parker, P.I.

    Introducing Maxwell Parker, P.I.

    Maxwell Parker cover 3D

    Yes, it’s really happening…

    After much agony and painstaking patience (i.e., “wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming”) my book, Maxwell Parker, P.I. is going to be published this summer…July 2014!

    Yippee!! Hooray!! Woo-hoo!!

    Okay, celebrations aside…

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. is the first chapter of the Maxwell Parker Chronicles, which will ultimately be a series of books chronicling Maxwell Parker and her adventures in junior high (grades 7-9).

    Chapter two, Maxwell Parker, Love Doctor, will be released in 2015. Look for the third (and final) chapter, Maxwell Parker, MVP in 2016.1

    The Plot Thickens

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. is the story of what happens when an average twelve-year-old with a not-so-average interest in crime discovers some suspicious goings-on in her quiet suburban neighborhood and decides to launch an unofficial investigation. Wackiness ensues because, let’s face it, that’s what wackiness does.

    But Maxwell Parker, P.I. isn’t just a detective story. It’s a story about the ups and downs of friendship, the ins and outs of middle school politics, and finding the courage to be yourself even when that person is “about as popular as toenail fungus.”

    I hope that you will welcome Maxwell Parker and her friends and neighbors into your hearts, although, if you take Maxwell’s view, some of them require 24/7 surveillance…so, you know, use your own judgment.

    Best regards and happy reading,

    Josie Lynn

    Watch the book trailer for Maxwell Parker, P.I.!

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. is published by Stepping Stones for Kids, an imprint of FootePrint Press

    1. Maxwell Parker, Love Doctor was released July 12, 2016. Maxwell Parker, MVP release date TBD. ↩︎

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