Josie Lynn Books: Imagine the Possibilities

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  • Declaration of Independence

    Or Why I Became an Indie Publisher

    Once upon a time, I used to think that the only pathway to becoming a “real author” was to secure an agent who would sell my book to a “real publisher.” This would inevitably result in a call from said agent reporting the sell, which would reduce me to a sobbing mess of happy, relieved, celebratory tears. That phone call never came, because finding an agent (for me, anyway) proved to be the enormous, impossible, clichéd catch-22 that everyone says it is. I once read a quote that likened the TV business to ‘a cruel, shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where good men die like dogs.’* The quote resonated with me; I instantly pictured my books left to die along a long plastic hallway of shattered hopes and dreams. Was I bitter? Was I hopeless? Perhaps, just a tad, but like I said in an earlier post, writing is something you can’t stop. It was just a matter of figuring out a new, different, and better approach to authorship. Or, to quote from Jurassic Park, “Life will find a way.” So I watched and I waited. Then, finally one day, seemingly out of nowhere, while I was busy poring over one of those books with lists of agents and publishers (who are currently not open to submissions or who do not accept unsolicited manuscripts or whose name and contact info is followed by any of those unfriendly, unwelcoming, disheartening phrases), there was a publishing revolution—a bloodless revolution with no visible carnage—but a revolution nonetheless—that left writers empowered to take matters into their own capable hands and stop waiting for someone on the other end of the proverbial transom to decide their fate. The time had come to remove the carcasses of dead books, dead hopes, and dead dreams from those hallowed trenches and hallways. Writers could set their books free. Writers could set themselves free. It reminds me of a commercial I once saw… [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZDUbKNiMsU?rel=0&w=420&h=315] …Plus, indie publishers have to wear lots of hats and I’m a big fan of hats. Do you have a similar story that you would be willing to share?

    *The quote, in its entirety is: “The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.”[…]

  • Lily’s Review: The Blue Castle

    Lily’s Review: The Blue Castle

    Josie and I recently read a book that we both liked, but probably for different reasons. I believe she intends to post a review on Goodreads, but I don’t have a Goodreads account (I suspect you have to be a human to get one, which in my opinion is grossly unfair), so I thought I would beat her to the punch by posting my review here on her my our blog.

    The book was called The Blue Castle, by L.M. Montgomery. As soon as I saw her getting her iPad out, I ran over and strategically positioned myself on her lap in order to read along with her. Being a cat, I don’t have the luxury of going to the library or bookstore or downloading eBooks of my choice, so I must wait until Josie starts one. Personally, I wanted to read Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle, but I was bored and in no position to be choosy, so I cozied up to Josie and began to read in the most nonchalant manner I could muster. A cat must maintain this attitude if she is to avoid being condescended to. Otherwise it’s a lot of, “Oh, how cute…look at her…she thinks she’s reading!” It is not to be endured!

    The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery

    At first blush, The Blue Castle is a story not unlike most of the stories Josie likes to read. It is about an unmarried girl named Valancy Stirling. She is what you humans would unkindly refer to as an old maid (we cats have no such term).

    Valancy lives in a rather shabby brick house with her mean widowed mother and an equally mean widowed cousin. Things are bleak for Valancy, but from the picture on the cover, it seems a foregone conclusion that at some point in this story she is going to find LOVE and then she is going to live happily ever after. That was fine with me. I’m not devoid of feeling. I’m not anti-love. I love chicken, tuna…and okay, I admit it, I love Josie (don’t tell her I said that, I wouldn’t want her to get smug).

    In the meantime, Valancy has to endure a pack of crazy relatives which, from what I can tell about humans, is not all that unusual (one of the good things about being a cat is that you never have to face large family gatherings where family members annoy or embarrass you). Valancy’s crazy relatives—the Stirling clan—provide much of the comic relief in this story. Comic relief is needed because parts of the story line are a bit heavy. (Spoiler alert: early on, Valancy finds out she is going to die).

    So, you might think this book is a downer, but trust me, it is not. You might also think it is a routine love story, but it’s not that either. Imagine my surprise, when we’d gotten about 10% into the story, I realized that this book, this masterpiece by L.M. Montgomery was full of feline undertones.

    Valancy, you see, is a cat lover. She wants a cat but her mean, prejudiced, narrow-minded mother won’t let her have one. The reason? It is too shocking, too mean, too hateful for me to repeat, but you can read it for yourself:

    Third Cousin Aaron Gray had been scratched by a cat and had blood-poisoning in his finger. “Cats are most dangerous animals,” said Mrs. Frederick. “I would never have a cat about the house.” She glared significantly at Valancy through her terrible glasses. Once, five years ago, Valancy had asked if she might have a cat. She had never referred to it since, but Mrs. Frederick still suspected her of harbouring the unlawful desire in her heart of hearts.

    Okay, first I had to wonder, what did third Cousin Aaron Gray do to provoke the cat to scratch him and how do we know that was the cause the of blood-poisoning??? But then Valancy—in a startlingly bold move (up until this point in the story, she had been pretty much a doormat)—stands up to her mother and other snobbish relatives, right in the middle of a family dinner:

    “People who don’t like cats,” said Valancy, attacking her dessert with a relish, “always seem to think that there is some peculiar virtue in not liking them.”

    The family is shocked and horrified, but I immediately began to like this girl. She uses just the right blend of wit and irony to achieve a subtle and poignant humor. I must say, tears came to my eyes over her heroic defense of my kind. I think this is a funny line though, because it is all too true. Some people don’t like cats. Well, there are some humans that I’m not particularly fond of, but I don’t go around making up stories about their tendency to spread germs or question their cleanliness. I simply torture them by jumping on their laps when they are visiting (ROTFLOL).

    But there’s more. I would also like to point out that L.M. Montgomery makes brilliant use of the literary device called foreshadowing because cats turn out to be a major theme in the unfolding of Valancy’s story. I don’t want to give too much away, but here is a bit of self-disclosure from the man who may or may not turn out to be the love of  Valancy’s life:

    “I have two cats there. Banjo and Good Luck. Adorable animals. Banjo is a big, enchanting, grey devil-cat. Striped, of course. I don’t care a hang for any cat that hasn’t stripes. I never knew a cat who could swear as genteely and effectively as Banjo. His only fault is that he snores horribly when he is asleep. Luck is a dainty little cat. Always looking wistfully at you, as if he wanted to tell you something. Maybe he will pull it off sometime. Once in a thousand years, you know, one cat is allowed to speak. My cats are philosophers—neither of them ever cries over spilt milk.”

    Sounds like a keeper to me, and those two absolutely lovely characters, Good Luck and Banjo, turn out to be key players. For example, when things go awry, (of course they would, you didn’t expect smooth sailing, did you? Remember your Shakespeare: the course of true love and all that. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s read Shakespeare) notice what Valancy laments:

    The camp-fires—all their little household jokes and phrases and catch words—their furry beautiful cats—the lights agleam on the fairy islands—canoes skimming over Mistawis in the magic of morning— (emphasis mine, all mine).

    All in all, I’d say The Blue Castle is a good read. I highly recommend it and I would readily add it to the list of my favorite books. I am surprised, shocked, nay, appalled that this book is not more highly regarded in the field of kitty literature.

    I sincerely hope you read it and love it as much as I did.

    Yours truly,

    Lily

  • Japanese Peas Don’t Grow?

    The sky put on a bit of a show in the wee hours of this morning, prompting me to think of the Jimi Hendrix line, “Excuse me while I kiss the sky,” which then made me want to say, “Excuse me while I kiss this guy,” well, for reasons that should be obvious. (If not they are not, I refer you to this article.)

    Which brings me to the actual point of this blog post:

    Mondegreens, Malapropisms, and Mixed Metaphors

    I come from a short line (as far as I know, it only spans two generations) of women who mix metaphors, misquote idioms and butcher lyrics. It’s not a proud legacy, but it is what it is. The defective gene can be traced to my mother who might say something like, “You can beat a dead gift horse, but you can’t make him drink.” She passed this trait on to my sister who will say with an air of proud surprise, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I got that one right, didn’t I?!” when (on occasion) she gets an idiom correct.

    They’re funny, my mom and my sister, and their mixed-up expressions, but I don’t laugh too loudly.

    He Who Laughs Last Laughs Best

    My form of the malady manifests itself specifically in my tendency to invent song lyrics. When I was a little girl I used to love a song that was apparently about a garden that just couldn’t or wouldn’t grow Japanese peas. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Perhaps you’ve heard it. I think the band is called Chicago.

    What are Japanese peas? I have no idea. A lesser-known variety similar to snow peas or sugar snap peas? Why don’t they grow? Perhaps not enough water or sunlight, I don’t know. I didn’t question it, I just sang along. Later—to my everlasting disappointment—I found out the real lyrics were, “Ooh ooh ooh, no baby please don’t go.”

    My version is less needy and not quite so pathetic.

    PS. Speaking of mistaken lyrics and total eclipses…I did a web search for misunderstood lyrics for Total Eclipse of the Heart and found this: “Totally, clips of the heart.” Submitted, I’m guessing, by a valley girl.

    Here’s an old commercial that features two guys singing loud, singing proud, but above all, singing words that only make sense to the ones singing!

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khVRAO8N-4E?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

  • The Sum of Its Parts

    The Sum of Its Parts

    jux·ta·pose

    verb \’jək-stə-,pōz\
    : to place (different things) together in order to create an interesting effect or to show how they are the same or different

    Long before we knew what juxtapose meant or had even heard of the word, my sister and I were busy “juxtaposing” things—and by things, I mean unsavory foods that we were forced to eat by a concerned and conscientious parent—like liver and mashed potatoes. Not that there’s anything essentially wrong with mashed potatoes…it was the combining them with the liver that we had the problem with. And nothing against liver—it is, after all, an essential organ, but I believe most people will agree with me that children generally find it disgusting. Parents should acknowledge this universal truth.

    My sister’s bright idea was that we pretend that the liver was chocolate and that the mashed potatoes were whipped cream. That way we could trick ourselves into thinking we were eating dessert instead of something “gross-ning” (which was a favorite non-word word when we were in elementary school).

    It worked…sort of. Eventually my mom stopped serving us liver and mashed potatoes for dinner, so we were able to eat our dinner like normal people, instead of being forced to mentally play with our food. More importantly, we were free to apply our creativity to more worthwhile endeavors.

    Still, our little thought experiment/exercise in imaginative eating taught me that it pays to combine something you like with something you like not so much, especially when the not so liked thing is something you have to do. I find this technique has gotten me though many of life’s less than pleasant, un-rose garden moments. Sort of like what Mary Poppins said about that spoonful of sugar.

    Which brings me back to my series of articles on Everything (About Job Interviews) I Learned From Jane Austen, which is all about how to make that awful medicine—the job interview—a touch more palatable.

    Here is a brief summation of our tips so far:

    Tip 1: Do master the indirect boast

    We learned how to answer “What’s your worst quality?” or “What’s your biggest weakness?” by watching Mr. Bingley. You can learn a lot by watching people. Case in point:

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1yp750t_xk?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

    …uh, back to Bingley. Remember how he “modestly” said his letters were crazy/sloppy/jumbled up because he thought faster than he wrote? Sloppy letters writing skills might sound like a weakness until you realize they are the product of a quick mind/brilliant brain. Bingo! Now that question will never stump you again.

    Tip 2: Don’t bad-mouth a former employer

    When an interviewer asks an interviewee “Who was your worst boss?” he/she’s not inviting you to relate some epic tale of dragon boss man/boss lady. It’s more like a test of your maturity level and discretion. Don’t fail…don’t be a Wickham. Bad-mouthing a former boss is just wrong.

    Tip 3: Do become a world-class networker

    This is probably the one and only time it is okay to make Mrs. Bennet your role-model. Feigning sickness and nagging your family will only annoy and alienate people—like your husband who will promptly retire to the library, the one place he know he will be safe from you because you…don’t…read—so don’t model that behavior. Imitate her savant-like ability to network.

    Tip 4: Don’t show up slovenly dressed

    Elizabeth Bennet provides the basis for this tip when she shows up at Netherfield with petticoats drenched in mud (after traipsing through the countryside). Perhaps she was trying to demonstrate her indifference to and disregard of Mr. Darcy and his 10,000 pounds per annum. As an candidate for a job, you cannot afford to make such a statement. Show up neat and tidy, pressed and shaven, i.e., dress for success.

    Tip 5: Do stay on topic when “telling about yourself”

    Everyone needs a opening, so interviewers often start by saying, “Tell me about yourself.” Lady Catherine de Bourgh shows us how to turn this conversation-starter into an opportunity to share relevant bits of data about our suitableness for the job.

    Tip 6: Do send a thank you note

    I promise, no one will find you ridiculous if you copy Mr. Collins’, er, enthusiasm about showing himself grateful by sending a post-interview thank you card/note/letter/email. However, if you approach Mr. Darcy and start talking without a formal introduction, you’re going to get royally snubbed.

    So, there we are…tips 1-6 in list format.  We have yet to hear from Mr. Darcy, Caroline, Georgiana, Jane, Lydia, Kitty, Mary (oh, dear), Mr. Bennet, or any of the Lucases. The possibilities are endless, so I’ll be revisiting this sometime in the near future. In the meantime, I’ve been working on some other projects (and desperately trying to get this blog rhythm down!).

    See you next time.

  • A Writer Writes…Always

    “A writer writes always” is something Larry, a character in Throw Momma From the Train, tells his creative writing students. 

    (Disclaimer: in the interest of complete transparency, now would be a good time to admit that I remember most of the lines from Throw Momma From the Train. What can I say? I like—in no particular order—1. movies about writers, 2. Billy Crystal, 3. Danny DeVito, and 4. twisted re-makes of Hitchcock films.*)

    I suppose the line resonated with me because I have always considered myself a writer, and because the line happens to be true. A writer does write…always. You can’t stop it, it just happens. Sort of like Kevin James’ dance moves in Hitch.

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50YQeugOMOw?t=2m00srel=0&w=560&h=315]

    I write because when I was a little girl, my mother took me to the library on a day that a famous children’s book writer was having a meet and greet. “Go on, talk to him,” she nudged, but being shy, I was content to watch from a comfortable distance. Still, that day I learned that writers were regular people. If I hadn’t seen him, it would have taken quite a bit of effort to convince me that books were written and didn’t just exist, like facts.

    I write because in junior high, after having consumed every book in the house, my mother showed me her black binder that looked ancient to me because she’d had it since college. “It’s a book I was going to write,” she told me, and I read it. My mother wrote stories, submitted them, and was never published.  So, I decided to continue her tradition.

    When I was seventeen something extraordinarily ordinary happened to me and sparked an idea that became a novel. I typed it up and sent it to agents and editors and anyone whose address I could find.  And it came back, again and again…and again. It didn’t happen the way I would have written it, but nothing ever does.

    Finally, an agent wrote back with the words I’d dreamed of hearing: “Your novel has the potential to be a best seller.” All it needed, she assured me, was a final edit by a professional, and she knew just the guy. You can probably guess the rest of that story—it’s been written before. But the point of my version is that I was young, hopeful, and ultimately crushed.

    After that fiasco, writing didn’t hold the same allure it once had. I felt like throwing in the towel, switching to some other career that was less gut-wrenching/disappointing. So, I stopped writing. I stopped sending out my unsolicited manuscripts. I stopped reading magazines about writing. I stopped dreaming. But I couldn’t stop the stories. Eventually, I knew something better than I knew lines from Throw Momma from the Train: A writer doesn’t write for publication. A writer isn’t a writer because she is published. A writer writes, always. End of story.

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. 3D cover 2022*After watching Throw Momma From the Train (as an impressionable young girl), I had to see the original movie…Strangers on a Train. I regret to report that this led to a life-long addiction to** Hitchcock movies. A similar fascination with Hitchcock is what inspires my protagonist Maxwell Parker to suspect her new neighbor of murder in Maxwell Parker, P.I. The lesson? You never know what will happen when you introduce Hitchcock to a preteen with an over-active imagination!

    **”a life-long addiction to” may be too strong a choice of words. Maybe “an extreme liking of” would be better. Because I can quit anytime. Really…I can…

    • What about you…why do you write?
  • Lily’s Favorite Books

    Lily’s Favorite Books

    I’m suffering from a slight case of writer’s block, so I defer to my computer literate and otherwise literate kitty, Lily, who will treat you to a list of her favorite books…drum roll, please!

    1.  Alice‘s Adventures in Wonderland – by Lewis Carroll12.1

    I’ll bet you’re thinking I like this book because of the Cheshire Cat. Wrong! It’s Alice’s relationship with Dinah that sings to me. Everyone’s so over the moon about dog being man’s best friend. Well, this book proves that cat is a girl’s best friend.

    2.  The Cat in the Hat – by Dr. Seuss

    Let me begin by stating emphatically that chaos will not ensue if you open your door to a cat! That being said, this book is an enjoyable escape.

    3.  The Fire Cat – by Esther Averill

    That Pickles is a cool cat! I kind of had a huge crush on him when I was younger.

    4.  It’s Like This, Cat – by Emily Neville

    This was a favorite of mine for the few months I was a teenager. Man, I could really dig it!

    5.  Jenny and the Cat Club (Originally Titled The Cat Club or the Life and Times of Jenny Linsky) – by Esther Averill

    Jenny really appeals to me…she’s cute and shy, but plucky. Kind of like me!

    6.  Millions of Cats – by Wanda Gag

    This is a classic. I remember this being read to me when I was a kitten.

    7. Mouse Soup – by Arnold Lobel

    Delectable, tasteful tale of a succulent clever, little mouse.

    8.  Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats – by T.S. Eliot

    Mr. Eliot revealed some of our secrets, but I forgive him. He made our species a household name. Well, it already was, but you know what I mean…

    9.  The Rescuers – by Margery Sharp

    Yummy little story about Miss Bianca and Bernard. Although I do think the characterizations of cats are unnecessarily harsh.

    10.  Stuart Little – by E.B. White

    For some reason this book makes me think of snack-time!

    11.  The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup and a Spool of Thread – by Kate DiCamillo

    Delicious…I mean, a very engrossing book. Stimulating…intellectually, that is.

    12.  The Tale of Tom Kitten – by Beatrix Potter

    There are some benighted souls out there who believe Miss Potter only wrote books about rabbits and bunnies. While those books are tasty, this one’s a real treat.

    Bookworms2

    Lily’s note: My list of favorite books is shorter than Josie’s, but I am also much shorter than Josie. And for the record, I HATE the Clifford books, so no books of that kind are on my list!

    Josie’s note: Some of the above-listed titles may reflect a bias on the part of our feline blogger. From my perspective, there is nothing wrong with the Clifford books, except for the fact that they feature a DOG…and Lily isn‘t too fond of dogs (more on that later). Also, I am sorry to say that it appears that she tends to read the books about mice the way you or I might read a cookbook. I apologize for any statements that may offend dog or rodent lovers.

    Credit for picture of Dinah:Alice finds the Red Queen/Sir John Tenniel/Wood-engraving by Dalziel/Illustration for the eleventh chapter of Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass (1865)/www.victorianweb.org

  • My Big Publishing News

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. 3D cover 2022

    It’s official. My new book, Maxwell Parker, P.I. is available…as of right now!
    For more details about the story, to find out what inspired me to write it, or to watch the book trailer, please see this previous post:

    Maxwell Parker, P.I. is also available on Amazon.com.

    For the Kindle edition, click here.

  • Computer Literate Kitty

    Computer Literate Kitty

    It’s the strangest thing. Whenever I open up my laptop and turn it on, my (cute and adorable…I secretly think she resembles Figaro from Pinocchio…but don’t tell her I said that!) cat Lily comes running over and sits on my lap. She basically then demands access to the computer.

    I’ve tried to put myself in her shoes, to get inside her little brain, and I think I’ve figured her out. I think she must need to check her email, which she must have set up one day while I stepped away from the computer to get a glass of water. Or ice tea. Or a cup of coffee.

    She probably receives regular correspondence from her feline friends, but since she doesn’t know the password to my computer, she has to wait until I’m logged in before she can use it. So she listens carefully. When she hears the computer powering on, that’s her cue.

    Incidentally, the other verbal cue Lily listens for is the sound of the can opener on a can. In her world, that can mean only one thing: TUNA. She’ll come running to the kitchen from where ever in the house she happens to be…usually that’s sleeping on a chair in the living room (er, excuse me, sleeping on her chair in the living room).  Never mind that most of the time the can being opened is not tuna because in my house tuna-eating is not a thing we do with regular frequency. That doesn’t phase Lily one bit. The fact is, some of the time it is tuna, and  Lily is willing to play those odds.

    The other day when I turned my laptop on and opened my browser, Lily ran over to the keyboard and begin typing:

    gbh14

    I hit enter, and this is the screen that opened:

    Lilly's search

    I think she’s desperately trying to express herself! I’ve decided to allow Lily to sit from time to time as my guest blogger. Maybe this frustrated artist will finally have her say! Her posts will appear under the category “Kitty Literature.”

    I certainly hope you’re ready to hear what’s on her mind.

  • You Can Never Be Too Thankful…Just Ask Mr. Collins

    You Can Never Be Too Thankful…Just Ask Mr. Collins

    Tip # 6: Send a Thank You Note

    So, hopefully, with the help of our previous 5 tips, your interview was a blazing success. All that remains is waiting for the inevitable call…the job offer, right?  Wrong!

    Don’t let all of your research, hard work, and nervous energy come to naught. Don’t forget to send the requisite thank you note/thank you letter/thank you email.

    But let’s say you aren’t feeling particularly thankful at this stage in the game. It doesn’t matter. You still need to go through the motions, and who better to model the correct attitude than our very own poster child for gratitude, Mr. Collins.

    Here is a snippet from chapter 29 of Pride and Prejudice in which we are treated to one of many displays of appreciation that he bestows upon his benefactress:

    When Lady Catherine and her daughter had played as long as they chose,the tables were broken up, the carriage was offered to Mrs. Collins, gratefully accepted and immediately ordered. The party then gathered round the fire to hear Lady Catherine determine what weather they were to have on the morrow. From these instructions they were summoned by the arrival of the coach; and with many speeches of thankfulness on Mr.Collins’s side and as many bows on Sir William’s they departed. As soon as they had driven from the door, Elizabeth was called on by her cousin to give her opinion of all that she had seen at Rosings, which, for Charlotte’s sake, she made more favourable than it really was. But her commendation, though costing her some trouble, could by no means satisfy Mr. Collins, and he was very soon obliged to take her ladyship’s praise into his own hands.

    Need I say more? I think Mr. Collins in his many speeches probably said more than enough.

    Bottom line: send a note on a plain, business-like thank you card, or a brief, business-like email, addressed it to the person who conducted the interview, thanking him or her for his or her time, saying it was a pleasure to meet him or her, and expressing your hope that the next time you meet it will be as colleagues (or something more or less to that effect).

    Well, young grasshopper, my work here is done. You are now ready and able to go out and make your way in the world.

    In a future post, I will be summing up our Jane Austen gleanings…and who knows, maybe I will be struck by a brain wave and have some more tips to add to our list at a future date. In the meantime, we’ll be switching gears and introducing someone you’re going to get to know pretty well.

    Thanks for indulging my fancy!

  • Tell Me About Yourself, Lady Catherine

    Tell Me About Yourself, Lady Catherine

    Tip 5: Stay On-Topic

    My mother used to say, “If you can’t think of something nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all,” so Lady Catherine de Bourgh poses a particular challenge for me. On the surface, there appears to be little or nothing that can be said about her without violating my mother’s code of conduct. It is almost impossible to think of something nice about someone my father would have said suffers from an extreme case of “I” trouble and an acute bout of egomania.

    However, in the interest of continuing on my Everything…Jane Austen theme, I thought long and hard about something nice to say about Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

    It went a little something like this:

    Josie: (to self) Think…think…THINK!!!

    …crickets chirping in the background…

    But, seriously, in the end, it really wasn’t impossible or even that difficult. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJGJMi-sUS8?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

    It’s All About You

    I quickly realized that a person like her ladyship–a person who never seemed to tire of talking about herself–might help us with the ubiquitous and potentially confusing interview question…or statement…okay… invitation to “Tell me about yourself.”

    Lady Catherine de Bourgh breathed life into the attitude “it’s all about me.” She lived it. She believed it. And while, this is ordinarily an annoying trait, the way she does it provides a clue on how we can talk about ourselves in a way that will be relevant to the topic on hand.

    For example, when your potential employer invites you to tell him/her about yourself, you don’t want to over-share by talking about too many irrelevant personal things. However, you do want to mention a few well-chosen, noncontroversial interests, hobbies, or pursuits. And while you don’t want to over-sell your job qualifications yet (there will be other opportunities later in the interview to highlight those in full detail), you do want to tailor your comments to reflect why you are the best fit for the job.

    This question would have posed no threat to Lady C, who was so aware of her pertinent strengths that she was able to imaginatively project them into a conversation into which she had no business trying to insert herself. “Because,” she said in so many words, “I am so awesome, I’d even be awesome at things I don’t even know how to do!!!”

    Notice how it played out in the book:

    “What is that you are saying, Fitzwilliam? What is it you are talking of? What are you telling Miss Bennet? Let me hear what it is.”

    “We are speaking of music, madam,” said he, when no longer able to avoid a reply.

    “Of music! Then pray speak aloud. It is of all subjects my delight. I must have my share in the conversation if you are speaking of music. There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment of music than myself, or a better natural taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient. And so would Anne, if her health had allowed her to apply. I am confident that she would have performed delightfully. How does Georgiana get on, Darcy?”

    A Word of Caution

    In all seriousness, however, let’s face it, no one would take Lady Catherine’s self-proclamation seriously. So don’t follow her example to the letter. Instead, my suggestion is to let her phenomenally self-confident spirit buoy you and prepare you to handle one of those moments in the interview where your mind might potentially draw a big fat blank.

    We’re trying to avoid this scene:

    Potential employer: So, tell me about yourself?

    You: Uh…um…I…

    …crickets chirping in the background…

    So, talk about yourself, but for heaven’s sake, stay on-topic!

    Next: A final lesson…from another unlikely source…the ever-thankful Mr. Collins. Yes, he’s good for something besides a laugh.

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